Would you trust some one who has never failed?

"Failure is success in progress"

-Albert Einstein

http://taptotransform.com/uncategorized/releasing-the-fear-of-failure/

  If a society won't accept failure it wont understand what progress is.  Society has an overwhelming obsession with the word "SUCCESS", but is this justified? Why is there such a large emphasis on success, but not on what comes before?  

The way success is portrayed and communicated to us, the people, is without a glance to what supersedes all successes,  failure.  The result? 

 People become disheartened when they fail, they lose self esteem, they go from a "can do" attitude to "never again". They say to themselves..."well I guess it was just not meant to be."  They think the only right outcome is success.  

Eduardo Zanatta says in a TED Talk, "We fail at something and quit because we create this story that says, this is going to happen again if I try again, so why try?"

I've stated in a previous post, this isn't our fault for thinking like this, a lot of this comes from our development at an early age.  Our success used to be measured by the outcome, not the effort, but its changing.  

Denis Waitley-

"There are no failures or mistakes, only lessons and successes."

 I find myself very fortunate to be part of an educational "experiment" at the age of 29 at Monash University Clayton.  Part of a program that is designed to depart on its students a very important trait,  Self-actualization.

  We are even more fortunate, to be the audience to Politicians, Leaders and entrepreneurs alike.  One speaker, our first speaker, Sam Prince, was among my  favorite speakers, but before he mentioned any of his failures I felt as if he were a god.  Something I could never become, standing on some precipice far beyond where I could reach. I was dwarfed and intimidated by his successes.  Until he talked about his failures.  

Failures are something we can all empathize with, because we all encounter them.  The second he showed he was not perfect, my respect for him rose exponentially, we all have our flaws.  What made him cool, was that he wasn't just cool talking about his flaws, he accepted them. 

In a world where people stop after the first failed shot on goal, who are our leaders?  Those, that have succeeded. Yet most of us only focus on the shots they made, ignorant to how many they took to get where they are.  

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."

-Michael Jordan

Today, do you think people are hired based on their failures or their successes?

Maryling Yu, wrote for Forbes and said

 "...Failure, however, offers ample opportunity for growth, self-awareness, and personal development. Those who do take this opportunity emerge as better employees – they are humble, teachable, thoughtful, and more likely to succeed the next time they try something..."

Michael Powell, President and CEO at NCTA, wrote for LinkedIn and said - 

"The ability to learn from failure, not pure talent alone, is the greatest predictor of success."

Failure, and our leaders

Think of who you consider a leader, past or present, and I'm positive their successes will be the reason why you remember them. I guarantee they have failed and the lessons they learned from those failures, were more important than any lesson they got from succeeding.  

Einstein; Failed at school constantly, now recognized internationally for his reasoning and intellect.

Henry Ford; Started a motor company before Ford Motors, and it sucked.  Then he made Ford Motors and his vehicles dominated the nation and parts of the world.
  

I hope I have redefined what success is to you, to me, it is turning any outcome into a win win.  Either victory, or a lesson learned.  Hopefully we can empower those around us in society to feel this way.

I'm going to leave you with a question, Feel free to answer it in the comments below.

Is it possible to be a good leader without having failed? 

I think you know my answer, but what do you think?

Resources

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130924104253-271580474-how-i-hire-i-look-for-your-failures-and-your-character

Eduardo Zanatta - http://www.innosight.com/about-us/eduardo-zanatta.cfm

Open 2 Study - Entrepreneurship and Family Business (Entp)

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_75.htm

Part 2 A cup of failures is worth more than a drop of success

Failing is winning

(Art credit- D* Face)

Were taught how "bad" failure is during our most important years of development that may have the longest lasting emotional footprint. This isn't our own fault.  Our upbringing caused a nasty taste to be associated with the word failure when spoken out loud.  Like a finger is being pointed at someone, and that person should be ashamed.

  This is so frustrating to me.  Failure has to be embraced, like a warm body on a cold night!  Well maybe not that tight....or personal.  If we ever want to go anywhere, we need to not only be willing to make mistakes (see my post on fear here), but willing to accept that we made one, learn from it, and move on.  

 Failure, what the hell is it?

Its horrible, its red, it ruins your self worth, makes your mom and dad really pissed off, can taste burnt, could cost you an aquarium and end up getting flushed down the toilet, causes people to laugh at you, causes you to laugh at others and more....no those are negatives that we pick up on.  Isn't it weird how you always remember the bad stuff? I remember the people that have wronged me or hated me the most...what a waste of emotion!  Ultimately it falls under two categories. 

1. Those who fail because they're too afraid to try (if you're afraid to try as we learned from part 1, you should be trying more!)
2. Those who crash and burn because their attempts didn't work. (this one is the right one).

The failure we want MORE of in life, the symptom of trying, its our goal, and there is no better pursuit.


when People are trying more, they're taking chances and making it happen.  Sure they might fail....wait...thats great!  No one succeeds without trying.  

Fear of failure is preventing yourself from even trying.  

"oh no im not afraid of failing, i'm just waiting until i have a better understanding of ...." "it wasn't the right moment…" 

 screw that!  


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " -Theadore Roosevelt


Every second you tell yourself that you're not ready yet, its another lesson lost, and another success put on hold.  Trying to be successful without failing is like trying to distinguish dark from light by only knowing one.  

Failure is without a doubt our biggest teacher, mentor, and Sifou out there.  It adds to our life experiences, it helps distinguish us. 

We need to be trying more, and more and more.  Ask a successful business man about what they did right, and they may or may not be able to tell you what they did.  Could have been luck.


  Ask him about his failures and he can tell you what went wrong, why, and what he learned.  You can, and will, learn more from failures than you can from success.  instead of trying to figure out the perfect way of doing something, just do it!  Try it.  Like a friend told me there are good ideas and good stories.  If its not one it'll be the other.

How to fail better

One of the biggest backlashes we feel as a result from failure is that…well…it didn't go the way we expected.  Thats the cause for the anger and frustration we see on the roads.  You get cut off by some d**chebag on your way to work and you react, "how could they?! heathens!!!" The philosopher, Seneca, had much to say on how we get frustrated when things don't go the way we plan. 

The recommended way of dealing with this is to consider your decisions an experiment
…they may or may not go the way you expect, but make sure you pay attention to the result.  Even if isn't what you wanted to see, its what is there, and its there for a reason.  So at the very least, to make damn sure you don't make the same mistake twice, make sure to pay attention to your mistakes.  

Some times, as stated, failures can lead to results we didn't expect.  That doesn't mean we need to throw away what we've done.  Often these results can contain the lesson...or in fact be the answer to a completely different question.



Start projects
http://www.instructables.com/

Learn a new skill
http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/24-invaluable-skills-to-learn-for-free-online-this-year

A new language! 
https://www.duolingo.com/

(follow me on duolingo AndrewGd2)


 If it makes you uncomfortable, then do it.  That uncomfortable, tightness where you're throat is? nervousness?  That is your target! Once you lock in on that, start taking steps forward, you're breaking down barriers man!  You will achieve new heights, gain new perspectives, new friendships, understand more about yourself.  And if you give up, don't feel bad we all do at some point, just start again!

 Start a business, project, blog, fail at blogging ;) anything.



-Andrew