Part 1 of Fear and Failure-Why do when you can try, Yoda?

Part 1

Fear...

Do you have a fear of failure?

do you...

• have a reluctance to try new things and get involved if you think you think its hard?
• self sabotage?
• have low self esteem or low confidence?
• need to be perfect at everything you do?

Then sorry to inform you, you're human.  We don't come with instruction manuals, so don't beat yourself up...unless you're not even going to try to make it better...

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."

-Michael Jordan

Winning is awesome...but hardly anyone talks about the near win.  

Failure and fear.... One of our best sources of knowledge and most sensitive of senses, but we've been raised to steer clear from these two like they are out to ruin our lives.  Ever since the beginning of our lives, forms of negative reinforcement have been in play to evoke uncomfortable feelings and emotions when we fail or become afraid.  

From the conception of our species, fear played a valuable part in our survival.  Our existence today is thanks to that fight or flight response to a dangerous situation our ancestors incorporated 200,000 years ago.  Quite a bit of fighting and flighting. If we are afraid of something we are told to run away, steer clear, call for help, but that was 200,000 years ago.

 

 Over time, things have changed, nd things have changed radically, in the last decade in itself!.  We are fighting and "flighting" in response to increasingly less dangerous situations, and often, the wrong situations.  

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying DON't Be afraid!

Thats right...I say BE AFRAID!

Like you and I were "discussing" earlier, Fear is an emotion that has developed over the 200,000 years of our species existence, probably longer.  Therefore it is one of the MOST valuable and accurate tools you could ever have in your toolbox of ...people...tools....maybe i'll edit that later...

What we need, is to harness this power, this response to uncomfortable situations, and change our response to it. 

 Fear is there to let you know that you are about to run into an uncomfortable situation.  Now sometimes maybe these uncomfortable positions are legit...don't play chicken with trains thinking you there is no spoon (did I get that right?) .

 More so, in response to these situations we face every day in life, socially, in relationships, looking at issues within our selves.  That "fear" we feel of approaching those subjects, maybe its a tightness in your chest, heavy stomach feeling, harness into that.

That is literally telling you there maybe something that needs fixing.  If there wasn't, then why would feel that way? think about it. "Oh my god i don't want to bring up this issue because this MIGHT happen...this COULD possibly be the outcome...".  It hasn't even happened yet.  "Wait so if I'm afraid or uncomfortable in certain situations I have problems?" what the hell is wrong with that?  Nothing!!! Were human buddy, everything we do is human, if everything we do is human, everything we do is normal to our species.

I guarantee you that most of what we do and think only we do...other people do.  Go talk to strangers more often, and you'll see what I mean.

What concerns me more is that people would continue feeling this way in these situations, than go out there and make things better for themselves, but still say "I have problems. "

If you keep doing what you always did, you're gonna get what you always got 

Plain and simple, if you don't like where you are, you need to physically change what you do.  If something feels different, do it.  Maybe what you thought you had to do might end up making you feel like a loser, then do it, because the truth is you're not a loser.  You just did something you were uncomfortable with.  That makes you a boss!

Maybe you like  having your problems, and if that's the case, then by all means... but i don't and if I don't, I know others don't.

continuing on

So what holds us back from doing these things were "afraid" of?  It challenges the image of who we think we are.  

realize its okay to change, to want to change, to make a change.

Stop fabricating these doom and gloom scenarios to things that haven't happened.  That response is another left over from evolution, its there to help you survive life and death situations.  It shouldn't be there to hold you back from asking some one to move over on public transport, or to keep it down while they are on the phone, asking for a day off at work.

So go out, and be afraid, but its time to learn, if it can't kill you.....or mortally wound you leaving you with a debilitating injury, it can make you stronger!

Next Week Part 2
Failure

Let me know what you think.  Do you think we should continue to react the way we do to these emotions, should we suppress them, should we change.  I want to know!  Do you have any thing you'd like to add.
-Andrew