(Art credit- D* Face)
Were taught how "bad" failure is during our most important years of development that may have the longest lasting emotional footprint. This isn't our own fault. Our upbringing caused a nasty taste to be associated with the word failure when spoken out loud. Like a finger is being pointed at someone, and that person should be ashamed.
This is so frustrating to me. Failure has to be embraced, like a warm body on a cold night! Well maybe not that tight....or personal. If we ever want to go anywhere, we need to not only be willing to make mistakes (see my post on fear here), but willing to accept that we made one, learn from it, and move on.
Failure, what the hell is it?
Its horrible, its red, it ruins your self worth, makes your mom and dad really pissed off, can taste burnt, could cost you an aquarium and end up getting flushed down the toilet, causes people to laugh at you, causes you to laugh at others and more....no those are negatives that we pick up on. Isn't it weird how you always remember the bad stuff? I remember the people that have wronged me or hated me the most...what a waste of emotion! Ultimately it falls under two categories.
- Those who fail because they're too afraid to try (if you're afraid to try as we learned from part 1, you should be trying more!)
- Those who crash and burn because their attempts didn't work. (this one is the right one).
The failure we want MORE of in life, the symptom of trying, its our goal, and there is no better pursuit.
when People are trying more, they're taking chances and making it happen. Sure they might fail....wait...thats great! No one succeeds without trying.
Fear of failure is preventing yourself from even trying.
"oh no im not afraid of failing, i'm just waiting until i have a better understanding of ...." "it wasn't the right moment…"
screw that!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " -Theadore Roosevelt
Every second you tell yourself that you're not ready yet, its another lesson lost, and another success put on hold. Trying to be successful without failing is like trying to distinguish dark from light by only knowing one.
Failure is without a doubt our biggest teacher, mentor, and Sifou out there. It adds to our life experiences, it helps distinguish us.
We need to be trying more, and more and more. Ask a successful business man about what they did right, and they may or may not be able to tell you what they did. Could have been luck.
Ask him about his failures and he can tell you what went wrong, why, and what he learned. You can, and will, learn more from failures than you can from success. instead of trying to figure out the perfect way of doing something, just do it! Try it. Like a friend told me there are good ideas and good stories. If its not one it'll be the other.
How to fail better
One of the biggest backlashes we feel as a result from failure is that…well…it didn't go the way we expected. Thats the cause for the anger and frustration we see on the roads. You get cut off by some d**chebag on your way to work and you react, "how could they?! heathens!!!" The philosopher, Seneca, had much to say on how we get frustrated when things don't go the way we plan.
The recommended way of dealing with this is to consider your decisions an experiment
…they may or may not go the way you expect, but make sure you pay attention to the result. Even if isn't what you wanted to see, its what is there, and its there for a reason. So at the very least, to make damn sure you don't make the same mistake twice, make sure to pay attention to your mistakes.
Some times, as stated, failures can lead to results we didn't expect. That doesn't mean we need to throw away what we've done. Often these results can contain the lesson...or in fact be the answer to a completely different question.
Start projects
http://www.instructables.com/
Learn a new skill
http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/24-invaluable-skills-to-learn-for-free-online-this-year
A new language!
https://www.duolingo.com/
(follow me on duolingo AndrewGd2)
If it makes you uncomfortable, then do it. That uncomfortable, tightness where you're throat is? nervousness? That is your target! Once you lock in on that, start taking steps forward, you're breaking down barriers man! You will achieve new heights, gain new perspectives, new friendships, understand more about yourself. And if you give up, don't feel bad we all do at some point, just start again!
Start a business, project, blog, fail at blogging ;) anything.
-Andrew
Hey Andrew,
ReplyDeleteWow! You're clearly very passionate about this and it comes through in your writing! You have made me think critically about the way I view failure and reconsider what it is that holds me back from doing what I want to.
However, do you think that there are those who manage to be successful the first time? And if there are people like that, do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing? Personally, I think that people can have success without failure, but that it is tough to learn from only having success. On this vein, check out this article from the Harvard Business Review: http://hbr.org/2011/04/why-leaders-dont-learn-from-success/ar/1
:)
Great job again!
I actually wrote this blog post before looking at what the requirements were for the second blog ;) so I've made a new post on failure more focused on the context of the Blog 2 requirements. I am indeed very passionate about failure and its role in society.
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, I feel that a success without failure is only a success on paper and in your pocket. While this may be what you want, it can also have horrible consequences. People can develop something called a "sacred cow"
A sacred cow is essentially an idea that you can't be wrong. If you think you can't be wrong, you wont ever look for new ways of trying things because you'll naturally revert back to what you know works. Ultimately this will lead to failure ;)
Success without failure is ultimately less valuable than success without failure.