One of the most pleasurable moments in life is when we achieve that "aha!" feeling of understanding. Many of these moments occur when taking a look into our past experiences with a newfound perspective. My new perspective was after reading The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, specifically a chapter titled "experiment and take smart risks smartly" (Heiftetz, et al., 2009). Within this chapter, decision making when we think we should not be making any decisions is discussed. Many believe that we can only make a confident decision if the odds are in our favor. From this confidence, we are then able to put our heart and soul into carrying out our decision. The tolerable level of risk for this decision may be 90-10, or 80-20. The analogy used in the Practice of Adaptive Leadership is “getting married” (Heiftetz, et al., 2009).
Photo credit high achievers network
When you get married you are as close to certain as possible that you are about to wed the "one", almost 90-10 certainty. The 10 percent could be the belief that somewhere out there you know, there is another person you could love more than the one you are about to marry. Would someone still get married if the ratio was 60-40? This situation may be more common in our lives than we realized (Heiftetz, et al., 2009).
Adaptive leadership requires us to take an almost “experimental mind-set”, so we do not get too attached to our decisions (Heifetz, et al., 2009). It takes bravery and courage to be confident in our actions when the odds aren't favourable, while holding a competing idea. Thinking experimentally also allows us to be open to failure, which allows the decision maker to learn, and gain valuable experience and insight into the situations they are faced with. This means negative emotions will not get in the way of taking the course of action with the highest chance of success (Mather M,. 2006).
Looking back on my time in the US Navy, I now realize I have witnessed this first hand on an almost daily basis. The military is an organization built upon following orders without question. Those who carry them out correctly are rewarded, while those who don't follow them are punished. This may seem pretty obvious at first, but after dwelling on this subject for a while, an emerging pattern began to arise.
In the military there are two tiers of authority, officers and the enlisted (grunts). The officers were trained to lead, and the enlisted were trained to carry out the requests of officers. Problems occur when the enlisted rose in rank. The higher ranking you were in the enlisted tier, the more you were accountable to the officers for the enlisted who ranked bellow you. Unfortunately there was never much in the way of leadership training provided for the enlisted as they rose in rank. Rank was normally decided purely on what you knew and your time in service. Moving up in rank with the mentality of never doing anything wrong begins to cripple many in certain situations (Mellers, et al.,1999). For example, decisions had to be made often while officers were not available to give guidance. Many supervisors would prefer not to make a choice until the officer was available to provide more insight, this often led to groups falling behind schedule in maintenance. Their level of certainty in their actions was not great enough for them to avoid getting in trouble and so they would not act.
A supervisor of mine, Nathaniel Hathaway, was a natural leader (or made it look easy). He was confident with every decision he made, even when the choices he made seemed as likely to fail as they were to succeed. He was used to it, and after a while, so were we. We became more confident in his approach, which indeed was experimental like. When things did not go as planned, he would remain impartial and immediately make alterations where necessary. Acting to the best of his knowledge at the time was imperative, not taking any action in a time that calls for action, is bound to leave you worse off than you were. We don't always have time to wait for the risks to lessen, but when we treat our actions as well planned experiments, the worst case scenario is that, you'll know what not to do next time.
Heifetz, R., Grashow, A. & Linsky, M., 2009. The Practice of Adaptive Leadership. Boston: Harvard Business Press.
Mellers, Barbara; Schwartz, Alan; Ritov, Ilana., 1999, Emotion-based choice, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, Vol 128(3), Sep 1999, 332-345. doi:10.1037/0096-3445.128.3.332
Mather M., 2006, A Review of Decision-Making Processes: Weighing the Risks and Benefits of Aging. National Research Council (US) Committee on Aging Frontiers in Social Psychology, Personality, and Adult Developmental Psychology, National Academies Press ,Washington DC, USA, Available from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK83778/
MAKE NO MISTAKE, tweets and their hashtags can be an effective tool for online activism. Whether it be spreading the word for campaigns, or raising awareness to important issues, saying they can't, would be denying
what’s right in front of you. The fact that some governments are trying to introduce complete bans to Twitter in their respective countries is proof that an impact is made.
A recent example includes China banning search requests regarding
the Tiananmen Square in order to
erase this tragic history.
Twitter, the tool that your government would
appreciate you only using to talk about fun stuff like the world cup, or cats.
Our focus and concern then should not be if Tweets get the message
across, but if we really understand what the message is. Tweets, a string of words limited
to 140 characters, are trying to communicate a point by cramming as much
information as possible into a small sentence or two. So it's quite understandable that this can lead to some misinterpretation, but would you blame a hammer for hitting your thumb?
Power to the Tweeters
"I've always had mixed emotions about what's been coined as "hashtag activism," and that term has definitely been thrown at this hashtag over the past few days. I've openly pondered before how much good social media hashtags to "raise awareness" actually does, and how slapping a hashtag on something is more often a quick way to pat oneself on the back for being moral than it is a true way to take action...
But #YesAllWomen is truly beyond awareness and hashtag activism..."
On their own, tweets are quite harmless, but when there are enough
tweets, people notice. Especially if the subject is addressing serious issues.
#YesAllWomen, still on-going, was sparked by the tragic shootings in California
targeting women by Elliot Rodgers. This served to open the floodgates on a
topic that was seemingly invisible to people around the world, unless you are a
woman. The hashtag campaign #YesAllWomen has now become a voice for women and
has steered public opinion on feminism From this
“The feminist agenda is not about equal
rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that
encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice
witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” - Pat Robertson
To this.
Still, people have their doubts on the effectiveness of tweets and hashtags. For many it is a challenge to understand what the root cause is for many of the issues behind the hashtag on their screens.
Concerns
Like a game of telephone (or Chinese whispers), tweets distort the original message.#BringBackOurGirls was in response to the mass kidnapping of over 200
girls in Nigeria by the terrorist group Boko Haram. Many thought the issue was about Boko
Haram.
"Domestically, the #BringBackOurChildren
campaign isn't aimed at the perpetrators of the attack: Boko Haram seem
unlikely to be swayed by tweets (remember, their name literally means
"Western education is sinful"). It's aimed at the government who have
appeared inept the Boko Haram problem for too long. Critics of Goodluck
Johnathan's government are quick to point out that Nigeria's army has left
hundreds dead in its fight against the militant group, many of whom were
civilians. Economic factors are at play too: while Nigeria's economy may have
been declared to be the biggest in Africa recently, living standards are still
low, glaringly so when compared to those of the Nigerian political elite."
Tweeting in response to these controversial topics is doing nothing more than giving yourself a pat on the back.This may be true, but
the problem is not that someone is just doing it for a quick feel good. If
this were the case, then the pros of
spreading awareness would far outweigh the cons of somebody getting off on
"feeling" good about themselves. The real problem is that people
may not even know what they are tweeting about when they choose to get
involved for this reason! eg. #Kony2012.
The result of the viral Kony campaign
may have helped chase Kony out of the country, but in doing so, international demands
to capture Kony eased pressures on other more dangerous rebel groups,
like M23. Since the Kony
Campaign, these other groups have had more freedom to operate in a similar
region. Resources were diverted away from them and towards capturing Kony. Granted, the video's purpose was indeed to motivate people to speak out against Kony and raise awareness, which it achieved. Unfortunately, this didn't address the climate which allowed for the rise of someone like Kony and others like him.
This reminds me of a saying carpenters use "measure twice, cut once". Before you tweet, make sure you check the facts, twice. Many people have been caught out believing something that a quick query on Google could have given them a better understanding on. Always check for both supporting information and objective information, then decide on what to tweet.
Tweets lessen the severity of the issues.Not true, without the use of hashtags and tweets, they may never have been recognised on the global stage. The real cause for our lapse in empathy or compassion isn't due to Twitter, its part of being human.
Unity
Many philosophers and researchers, like Peter Singer, believe that as a
species, we've always been more concerned about matters that are closer to our
families and communities.
"Our species has spent millions of years
evolving as social mammals with offspring who need their parents' care for many
years. For most of these millions of years, parents who did not care for their
children during this period of dependence were unlikely to pass on their genes.
Hence our concern for the welfare of others tends to be limited to our kin, and
to those with whom we are in cooperative relationships, and perhaps to members
of our own small tribal group."
How does one challenge a trait that was instilled in us by nature
itself? One idea is to change our perception of the planet we live on. Billionaire and philanthropist Bill Gates
said something similar to Forbes when he was asked what advice he would give to the next US president to improve American Competitiveness and innovation. Bill said
'I tend to think more about improving the entire
world as opposed to relative positions. Otherwise you could say "Hey,
World War II was great because the US was in its strongest relative position
when that was over.""
This idea of a globalized state of empathy is of course no small task, and it won't happen overnight.
There are many other factors that affect why we care more about one topic over the
other, but at the end of the day, we are one race, and we have one Earth. We are much closer to one another than you would like to think. Carl Sagan reminds us of this with his timeless essay "The pale blue dot".
#ThatsAWrap
Yes, Twitter and hashtags make for an effective tool in online activism and communication in general. The internet
and social media has given us a powerful medium for communicating to one another, and so our
challenge is to learn how to use these tools better. Don't be afraid to speak out for what you believe in or what you think, but it doesn't hurt to check the facts. In fact it may hurt NOT to check them. What, how, and to who you decide to tweet to could support the militarization of a foreign country, OR, it could support a change for the better.
You could argue, that activism is as old as the human race itself. The way individuals chose to spread a message to those around them, has largely remained unchanged. Messages, signs, posters, rallies were all created by hand or carried out in person by the activist.
Enter the dawn of the Internet and more importantly, social media. A very unique, easy and some times, powerful way to communicate, none can dispute that social media and the Internet has connected billions. Now the very traits that make the Internet so powerful, are also the centre of criticism in how they effect activism. Campaigns like #Kony2012, #Bringbackourgirls, #YesAllWomen , Stop shark culling, tweeting, liking pages, donating, even changing your
profile picture to support a cause all fall under the umbrella of online
activism, or as some call it, "slacktivism". There is even an online activism, against online activism called "snarktivism".
Campaigns fill our news feeds, inboxes and phones with requests from family and friends, urging us to support causes we have never
heard of. We take these limelight issues at face value and make quick
decisions based on how we feel in the moment, but do we really understand the
lasting impact?
This process takes no more than a couple of minutes. All you have to do, is send a tweet, or share/like a page and you can stop a bad man on the other side of the world, even save a forest from deforestation.
Due to how easy it is to show your support and how little effort is needed to actually support the cause, a detachment of the consequences from the action occur. Spurred on by an overwhelming sense of righteousness that you feel in the "heat" of the moment, you suddenly make a massive difference with the click of a button...or did you?
Online activism works, but not always like you imagined
There is no doubt in my mind, that there can be strong
positive effects when we get involved online, but it can also be ineffectual.
In some cases, even causing more harm than good, as campaigns fail to target
the underlying issues that brought what we see to the spot light. Outlined in this article, and this article, and this one too, are examples of different issues that were ignored when some of their corresponding campaigns surfaced to our attention.
Still all these articles prove one thing.
Online activism often succeeds in bringing important issues to our attention.
So why, in some cases, is the outcome not what we envisioned? Probably because our aim is off when directing our time and energy. I feel it is not only necessary to inform you that online activism works, but feel it is equally important to stress the need for people to be efficient, and knowledgeable when it comes to online activism. Re-tweeting without knowing or understanding the message you're passing off is like being a lemming. You don't want to be a lemming do you?
Your voice, no matter the medium,
makes an impact and if you're not careful, it might not make the one you
intended.
For the first part of this four-part series, I’m going to give you an overall
breakdown of online activism. What it is, the concerns, different tools of an
online activist and some quick tips.
What is "Slacktivism"?
Slacktivism or slacker activism, was a term coined to describe micro
activism/passive activism. You’ve got it, small activism, or smaller forms of
activism that didn't need much of an energy commitment like bumper car stickers, even planting a tree. It was actually meant in a positive manner.
In today’s context, it is used with a negative connotation towards
people who only get involved if it's easy, gives them some attention, and/or
because it makes them feel better about themselves. It has fast become
the go-to word to describe all forms of online activism.
With the birth of the Internet, so much has become easier, in some cases a lot
easier than we realise. Ordering your groceries, earning money,
communicating with others, educating, even backing the militarisation of Africa, can all be
done by you, the Internet user, with the click of a mouse or a tweet.
The concerns of slacktivism critics are outlined by Henrik Serup Christensen,
2011 in a paper he published on "Political Activities on the Internet",
and include:
"Slacktivism damages actual activism", or progress towards any real
and tangible outcome. A concern also expressed by this blog.
Activists, who once concentrated on off line
forms of activism like going to rallies or to town hall will
"regress" to the much easier form of activism online because
it's...well...easier."
"Slacktivism (when it refers to all forms of
online activism) doesn't achieve anything."
Despite these concerns, even slacktivism
has its merits. After all, bad publicity is still publicity and can still
raise awareness. Furthermore, its been shown in multiple studies that these concerns are in fact, wrong, and the reality is closer to the opposite. I'm not entirely certain if online activism is to blame for oversimplifying issues, or if the campaign manager should be to blame. Equally the activist could be to blame.
Is all online activism, slacktivism?
First, I'm going to acknowledge that there is undoubtedly a category of people
out there who are, in fact, slacktivists. People who want to feel important,
and matter. It's true, for some the buck stops with the like of a page or a
retweet, and it may never go beyond that.
Now evidence suggests, and backs, that online activism can lead to a stronger
interest in issues that effect society (Christensen, 2011).
"It seems fair to say that most evidence in recent years points to the internet having a positive effect on off-line mobilization..."
Not only can slacktivism turn into more effective, online activism, but online
activism can also turn into offline activism. There is no evidence from
current studies to support the opposite.
What is online activism?
Activism:consists of efforts to promote, impede, or direct social, political, economic, or environmental change, or stasis. The term connotes a peaceful form of conflict
The main difference between a slacktivist and an online activist is the intent
or motive behind the choice of being an activist. Getting involved because you genuinely care
about the issues that effect your community and the rest of the world are what
motivates an activist, not personal gain. Still, for many it would be hard to distinguish between the actions of a slacktivist or online activist. They are essentially doing the same thing. Real activists though, (online or offline) tend to be more knowledgable. Like any passion or matter you care about, you will naturally invest more time and energy, ultimately acquiring a better understanding.
While there are many forms of online activism, the main forms we see are online
campaigns run, shared and organised through social media platforms
like Facebook, Twitter, Blogs,
signing ePetitions, Videos, emailing, Campaigning websites and
more.
Addressing concerns for online activism
"How can anything bad come from people who genuinely care about what’s
going on around them?!". *Insert cliche about good intentions
here* Yup, sad but true, getting involved without doing your research can lead to undesirable outcomes.
Caring isn't enough on its own. We need to make sure we care for the
right reasons, for the right people. To do this we need to learn more about the campaign or movement we care about.
We should never assume we know better than the people who are actually
struggling. If it's their message we want to fight for, it's their
message we need to pass on, not our interpretation of it. So whether it be working with a community overseas or locally, don't assume you know what the problem is at first glance. You need to work with and alongside the people you want to help. "Help" does not mean, "do everything for me!".
Perception
is everything! Kony2012
Joseph Kony, leader of the Lords Resistance Army
What tends to happen when issues come to our attention, is that we take them at face value.
Case in point, Kony 2012. What did we see? A really touching video
that went viral and accumulated over 90 million views. Unfortunately
experts agree that the reason this video went viral was because it
unintentionally oversimplified many of the issues.
The #Kony2012 campaign spread, causing an uproar around the world, to the point
where the US interfered militarily, and still are, to help catch Kony. Whilst it bought the
issue of child soldiers to the attention of many people, it was unsuccessful at
bringing the right kind of attention.
Kony is on the run and he needs to be brought before the ICC and dealt with. Unfortunately the chase has caused much of his army to splinter into many smaller groups. It was hard enough to chase Kony when the LRA was a larger singular force, but now instead of chasing a large group they, have atomised into many smaller ones. Small 2-10 man groups, once part of the LRA, now roam LRA's old area of operations acting like bandits. Doing what they know how to do committing atrocities for food and supplies. Not only this, but the increased attention on Kony has allowed other rebel groups, like M23 (seen as a bigger threat than Kony) to rise.Additionally, it turns out MANY
governments already knew about the atrocities and crimes Kony conducted well
before the campaign started.
No one wanted this outcome, but its what happened.
even more unexpected was the reaction the video received from the people of Uganda. They were hurt and confused by what they saw, and
at the very first and last viewing, threw rocks at the screen.
Why did this happen? The movie oversimplified the issues, and didn't bring much help to the real victims of the LRA, the child soldiers, who were shunned by their communities
for the horrors they were forced to commit. Re-integration was not as
easy as it looked.
Its sad to think it took so much for us to finally cast our gaze on this small spec in Africa and it turns out Kony was only the tip of the iceberg.
For whatever reason, like lack of publication, these underlying issues just don't make it to our news feed. There is no war, but business meetings. No blood, just people in suits. No grenades or guns, just people with documents and briefcases. It doesn't look like a battlefield, but it is.
"If Americans want to care about Africa, maybe they
should consider evaluating American foreign policy, which they already play a
direct role in through elections, before they impose themselves on Africa
itself."
-Teju cole
Author Teju Cole writes a very compelling article that goes to the depth of this
issue. Read it with an open mind and you won't be disappointed.
Also remember that incidents like #Kony2012 and #Bringbackourgirls aren't
isolated, they happen every day.
While it feels good to look for the short-term fix, like sending the military
in, this doesn't give that country a lot of help in the long run. Look at
Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya. Can we really say they are better off?
Sending in the military often has a destabilising effect.
A quick wrap up
Get involved with your countries politics, read those petitions, understand what that #campaign is about. Ask yourself "what is going on in places like Uganda that could give rise to someone like Kony?". While we would all love to hear that Joseph Kony has been stopped, the issues that put him there are what we need to focus on.
Plain and simple online activism works and has had amazing success. #Kony2012 and #Bringbackourgirls may be oversimplifying the issues, but to say all online activism does is wrong. Check out change.org or getup.org.au for some great examples of online activism that have worked.
When you come across a campaign online ask yourself
What is the campaign for and what is it trying to achieve?
Why is it important?
Have they covered all the issues?
Research arguments for and against this campaign.
Is it important to you?
Get Involved
Ask around, share your opinion and ask others for theirs.
Never criticize some one for having different views from your own, criticize the views, but never the person.
If you feel you have anything you would like to add to this list please let me know in the comment section and I'll add it. The crux is to have an open mind.
Ideally you wont just stop with the click of a mouse. The more you get interested, the more you will do your homework, and you'll have a better understanding of how to direct your time and energy.
Online activism yields results
Online activism, when paired with offline activism produces the strongest results
there is a strong need to be informed of the issues when getting involved regardless of how easy it is to actually be involved. (how can we better address this?)
So stay tuned, I want to take you through some examples of the good, the bad,
and the ugly when it comes to online activism.
If a society won't accept failure it wont understand what progress is. Society has an overwhelming obsession with the word "SUCCESS", but is this justified? Why is there such a large emphasis on success, but not on what comes before?
The way success is portrayed and communicated to us, the people, is without a glance to what supersedes all successes, failure. The result?
People become disheartened when they fail, they lose self esteem, they go from a "can do" attitude to "never again". They say to themselves..."well I guess it was just not meant to be." They think the only right outcome is success.
Eduardo Zanatta says in a TED Talk, "We fail at something and quit because we create this story that says, this is going to happen again if I try again, so why try?"
I've stated in a previous post, this isn't our fault for thinking like this, a lot of this comes from our development at an early age. Our success used to be measured by the outcome, not the effort, but its changing.
Denis Waitley-
"There are no failures or mistakes, only lessons and successes."
I find myself very fortunate to be part of an educational "experiment" at the age of 29 at Monash University Clayton. Part of a program that is designed to depart on its students a very important trait, Self-actualization.
We are even more fortunate, to be the audience to Politicians, Leaders and entrepreneurs alike. One speaker, our first speaker, Sam Prince, was among my favorite speakers, but before he mentioned any of his failures I felt as if he were a god. Something I could never become, standing on some precipice far beyond where I could reach. I was dwarfed and intimidated by his successes. Until he talked about his failures.
Failures are something we can all empathize with, because we all encounter them. The second he showed he was not perfect, my respect for him rose exponentially, we all have our flaws. What made him cool, was that he wasn't just cool talking about his flaws, he accepted them.
In a world where people stop after the first failed shot on goal, who are our leaders? Those, that have succeeded. Yet most of us only focus on the shots they made, ignorant to how many they took to get where they are.
"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."
-Michael Jordan
Today, do you think people are hired based on their failures or their successes?
Maryling Yu, wrote for Forbes and said
"...Failure, however, offers ample opportunity for growth, self-awareness, and personal development. Those who do take this opportunity emerge as better employees – they are humble, teachable, thoughtful, and more likely to succeed the next time they try something..."
Michael Powell, President and CEO at NCTA, wrote for LinkedIn and said -
"The ability to learn from failure, not pure talent alone, is the greatest predictor of success."
Failure, and our leaders
Think of who you consider a leader, past or present, and I'm positive their successes will be the reason why you remember them. I guarantee they have failed and the lessons they learned from those failures, were more important than any lesson they got from succeeding.
Einstein; Failed at school constantly, now recognized internationally for his reasoning and intellect. Henry Ford; Started a motor company before Ford Motors, and it sucked. Then he made Ford Motors and his vehicles dominated the nation and parts of the world.
I hope I have redefined what success is to you, to me, it is turning any outcome into a win win. Either victory, or a lesson learned. Hopefully we can empower those around us in society to feel this way.
I'm going to leave you with a question, Feel free to answer it in the comments below.
Is it possible to be a good leader without having failed?
I think you know my answer, but what do you think?
Were taught how "bad" failure is during our most important years of development that may have the longest lasting emotional footprint. This isn't our own fault. Our upbringing caused a nasty taste to be associated with the word failure when spoken out loud. Like a finger is being pointed at someone, and that person should be ashamed. This is so frustrating to me. Failure has to be embraced, like a warm body on a cold night! Well maybe not that tight....or personal. If we ever want to go anywhere, we need to not only be willing to make mistakes (see my post on fear here), but willing to accept that we made one, learn from it, and move on.
Failure, what the hell is it? Its horrible, its red, it ruins your self worth, makes your mom and dad really pissed off, can taste burnt, could cost you an aquarium and end up getting flushed down the toilet, causes people to laugh at you, causes you to laugh at others and more....no those are negatives that we pick up on. Isn't it weird how you always remember the bad stuff? I remember the people that have wronged me or hated me the most...what a waste of emotion! Ultimately it falls under two categories.
Those who fail because they're too afraid to try (if you're afraid to try as we learned from part 1, you should be trying more!)
Those who crash and burn because their attempts didn't work. (this one is the right one).
The failure we want MORE of in life, the symptom of trying, its our goal, and there is no better pursuit.
when People are trying more, they're taking chances and making it happen. Sure they might fail....wait...thats great! No one succeeds without trying.
Fear of failure is preventing yourself from even trying. "oh no im not afraid of failing, i'm just waiting until i have a better understanding of ...." "it wasn't the right moment…" screw that!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. " -Theadore Roosevelt
Every second you tell yourself that you're not ready yet, its another lesson lost, and another success put on hold. Trying to be successful without failing is like trying to distinguish dark from light by only knowing one.
Failure is without a doubt our biggest teacher, mentor, and Sifou out there. It adds to our life experiences, it helps distinguish us.
We need to be trying more, and more and more. Ask a successful business man about what they did right, and they may or may not be able to tell you what they did. Could have been luck.
Ask him about his failures and he can tell you what went wrong, why, and what he learned. You can, and will, learn more from failures than you can from success. instead of trying to figure out the perfect way of doing something, just do it! Try it. Like a friend told me there are good ideas and good stories. If its not one it'll be the other.
How to fail better
One of the biggest backlashes we feel as a result from failure is that…well…it didn't go the way we expected. Thats the cause for the anger and frustration we see on the roads. You get cut off by some d**chebag on your way to work and you react, "how could they?! heathens!!!" The philosopher, Seneca, had much to say on how we get frustrated when things don't go the way we plan.
The recommended way of dealing with this is to consider your decisions an experiment …they may or may not go the way you expect, but make sure you pay attention to the result. Even if isn't what you wanted to see, its what is there, and its there for a reason. So at the very least, to make damn sure you don't make the same mistake twice, make sure to pay attention to your mistakes.
Some times, as stated, failures can lead to results we didn't expect. That doesn't mean we need to throw away what we've done. Often these results can contain the lesson...or in fact be the answer to a completely different question.
Start projects http://www.instructables.com/
Learn a new skill http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/24-invaluable-skills-to-learn-for-free-online-this-year
A new language! https://www.duolingo.com/
(follow me on duolingo AndrewGd2)
If it makes you uncomfortable, then do it. That uncomfortable, tightness where you're throat is? nervousness? That is your target! Once you lock in on that, start taking steps forward, you're breaking down barriers man! You will achieve new heights, gain new perspectives, new friendships, understand more about yourself. And if you give up, don't feel bad we all do at some point, just start again!
Start a business, project, blog, fail at blogging ;) anything.
On my way to work today, a man and I made eye contact, and I immediately thought...."shit!"
It was that so familiar, "I can see you seeing me, I'm about to walk up to you now and start talking....here i come" look.
He wore a top hat, a flannel shirt, had lots of necklaces, one with a card attached that had his membership number to Wildlife Australia, a few bracelets, ripped jeans, and some old shoes. He was warm, with a genuine look on his face.
"Do you have any concerns facing the environment? he asked.
"how long can you talk for? I have to go to work in a few minutes" I replied
He informed me of Wildlife Australia
"I'm a member" I said
"right on!" he replied and gave me a high five
"you just saved me heaps of time thanks man!" he continued. We shook hands and he left.
"F**K! why would I lie about that ?" I asked myself
...this started a huge wave of personal reflection and self critiquing.
Obviously, my lying had something to do with my uncomfortableness with dealing with these guys. Everyone I know feels this way though.....but why? People asking for stuff, walking right up to you, maybe they call you up at dinner time non stop, asking for donations. GIVE ME A BREAK! we think to ourselves. Not me please don't....no i don't want to discuss this right now... don't make me say no!
Not only that but I feel bad every time I say no. So then why am I saying no? Why do I have a bad feeling when these guys are walking up to me to ask for my help? I love helping people. I care about people, the environment, our home. If i had to believe in a divine power, it would be the earth and everything on it, so why wasn't i listening to the call of her children to help?!
I'm really starting to believe that over time, a few things have tainted our idea of charity and giving. This is my personal opinion.
Firstly, we are emotional creatures. We make decisions based off our emotions, and justify them afterwards with the "logical" side of our brain (the level of "logicness" is relative to each individual) So I can assume I'm not donating because of an emotional reason. Then i don't donate. Then i justify it. An excuse you may have heard yourself say is,
"I shouldn't donate to make myself feel good."
While you and I are busy not donating because we don't want to feel good about it, some one is out there suffering. So the IDEA that altruism is the only reason to donate, can be thrown out. Doing things only because its the right thing to do robs a lot of people of possible help. We should help because of all the reasons, the acceptable and the non acceptable.
We're slowly becoming programmed more and more to not donate. Our brains are trained to dedicate less emotion/empathy to occurrences that regularly elicit an emotional response. Its one of our many forms of adapting and preserving our sanity. This leads to something called compassion fatigue in professions like EMT's and Doctors, but on a faster/larger scale. We start to care less and less.
The same thing is happening here. Before we would stop and listen to these guys...these "do-gooders" talk all day about how we are going to make a difference by donating. Now we can spot them a mile away and walk right past them without feeling anything for the most part...maybe even relief?
Another reason not to donate is because you genuinely don't want to give up that cheddar!
I have gone down this path before. I've signed up, then retracted my money. Later on i think about it...Basically i could have supported this charity membership if i only stopped drinking 5 cokes a month...I spend my money on much dumber stuff, so surely 5 cokes i can do...but i still withdraw...why?!
I've started to wonder if we are increasingly wired by society to not give. "Why don't we talk about charity?" I started to ask myself....
"wait...seriously why, as a society do we talk so little about charity?!"
Some of my friends and I do, but not like we talk about things like, sports, music, politics, relationships. We don't discuss charities at the dinner table. Why are we so focused on the problem. We talk about all these horrible things going on overseas but the actual solution which is there in front of all of us is so much harder to talk about?
"Holy crap!? why don't we talk about charity?! Isn't it important to all of us?! of course it is..."
So i started to search around the internet and what I saw was horrible.
People who start to talk about their dealings with a charity, Even how helping out a charity has made them feel, get flamed and harassed by complete strangers! Some even get given crap by their friends and family!
I couldn't believe it. How can we expect more people to want to donate when we can't even talk about charity without people looking down at us for talking about it?
The problem comes from what we describe as bragging, and bragging is looked down upon in almost every religion and ideology out there. As soon as people start to talk about charity they have done, they get labelled as braggers.
Granted, there are people who are seeking validation, attention, recognition for their good deeds, but this isn't just their fault, and it shouldn't matter!
If we all donated, there would be nothing to brag about, more importantly Bragging does not change the end result. What we are really getting upset over is our own problems. I find most people who are getting upset about people bragging or accusing people of bragging fall into two categories.
People who feel bad about not donating themselves, and so flame those who do donate or brag/talk about it.
these guys need to get over themselves. No one likes a hypocrite.
People who are actually humble about their donations and think no one should talk about it.
You guys I understand less, they are still donating and the money is going to a good cause. Do you run up to a person driving a Ferrari and give them a piece of your mind for "showing off"? How is this different?
there is a difference between bragging and acknowledging something, but they may not be distinguishable to some.
I want to encourage acknowledging the charity you and others have done.
Spread the word, we need more of this. You can't believe that not sharing stories of your donations would give that charity more attention than actually discussing it.
Tell people how it makes you feel, and why! Talk about the good its doing and why its important to you!
Charity is charity, there is no right or wrong way (as long as we're not hurting anyone). The more the better.
Think about all those Socially Responsible companies like
and others that have consumer driven charity built in. They are profiting off of people suffering. Yes that is one way to look at it, if you're a pessimist. Or we can look at the end results. Lives being saved, lives being changed, people getting an education and opportunities they would never dreamed of getting.
These guys are generating large revenues over peoples hardships, but they are making a HUGE difference.
How is that different for some one donating because it makes them feel better about themselves and discussing it? The same thing is achieved. You are helping some one, and their is personal gain.
When you talk about a petition you want people to sign, you don't just sign it and stay silent, then try not to feel good. You ask around, you talk about it, spam the shit out of your friends news feed until they question if your Facebook account hasn't been hacked.
You tell people why you did it, why it matters to you. If it doesn't matter to you well no dramas then. I like to believe that charity matters to everyone (i know it matters to you I'm just being silly).
If we lived in a society, where everyone donated, talking about charity would be common place. Thats because it would just be a part of life. Like filling up your car with gas/petrol, going to the doctors, and it should be, in fact, I know it will be, one day.
Until then we need to do all we can to bring it closer. Help everyone! The hardest problem should be choosing a charity. I myself will have to look a couple up to make up for my horrible lie today. I'll keep you posted.
BUT TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. Am i crazy? do you agree? Have a better idea? let me know down below!
I'll continue my series next week...i just had to throw this question out there.
