Journal of the Wantrapreneur : the pain compass

Going through life, each of us forms our own unique relationship with pain. Whether it is physical, emotional or mental pain, it is rare to hear of someone who has never been hurt. Nor would I trust such a person. Pain tells us we are out of our comfort zone, it signals that something is happening beyond our expected norm. When considering our day to day lives, we often feel discomfort when our expectations aren’t met. These expectations could be long standing paradigms that we believe in and have had challenged, or they could be expectations made from recently acquired information. Generally, when things don’t go according to plan, we feel a little tightness in our chest, some discomfort, some pain. This may vary greatly from person to person. Some people don’t deal with pain very well, others were born from it.

While pain is a very unique feeling, however, societies tend to under harness the potential power of this feeling and instead teach that pain is something to be avoided. I would argue the contrary. Pain is unique and powerful emotion to an individual in the context of his or her life, which instead of being completely steered away from, should be recognize and accepted for what it is. Pain is our emotional response to a stimulus. When thinking about pain or discomfort in this manner, it can actually be used as our own compass to explore our boundaries. Where do our limits lie?

It can be used as a diagnostic tool for not only ourselves but the journeys and projects we embark on throughout life. Okay so this company project doesn’t seem to be doing well, why is that? Why am I suddenly feeling this way when this person brings up ”blank”? Something is happening, it’s not going as I expected and I’m having an emotional reaction. Now that I am aware of my actual boundaries, and where my limits are, where do I go from here? What changes do I need to make to better handle this situation in the future?

Of course actually deploying this style of self-awareness during the live feeling of pain is no simple task, it takes a conscious degree of mindfulness. So practice is key, as practice makes perfect. Actually practice doesn't make perfect, it makes it habits, and habits take very little energy to do. So the more we practice being mindful in life, the sooner we can discover our own limitations, where they come from, if they can be pushed, without even thinking about it.

 As an entrepreneur, it is imperative that we realise when we are out of our depth, and that when we are, we decide that staying the course is what we need to do or to alter it. It’s when we ignore what our bodies are telling us that we begin to suffer. It’s when we continue to act incongruently to who we actually are, that we continue to suffer. So don’t ignore the pain, embrace it, listen to it, accept it, and make the needed changes for you to grown in all areas of your life.

There is a very important lesson that I must follow up with and that is,

We are not our thoughts or our feelings. 

When we identify with a thought or an emotion, especially a negative one, we run the risk of becoming consumed in a world of hurt. In addition, all emotions stem from thoughts. Every feeling you've felt, was sourced from a thought. By policing our thoughts we can become better masters of our house. Awareness is the answer, by observing your thoughts and feelings instead of letting them run your life, we begin to separate the feelings and thoughts based on assumptions from our true selves. Most of our negative thoughts and emotions stem from not knowing. If you don't know, ask, do not base your actions, risk your mental health, or happiness on uninformed assumptions. If you're afraid to ask, maybe that is your pain compass signalling you have some work to do.

Journal of the Wantrapreneur : Falling stars

Suddenly it happens, after overcoming obstacle after obstacle, we come falling down and hit the dirt to taste reality. Achieving our goal won't be as easy as we thought. As the dawn of reality sets in, it's easy to see why many projects seem too daunting and are left unfinished. The passion, drive, and overall enthusiasm gives way to stress, fear and sometimes depression. "Why won't this just work?!" we ask ourselves, as the world seems set on keeping us down with each added task to our list of growing to do's.

What we don't realise is that this is part of the process, and that these obstacles aren't what they seem to be, road blocks. They are in fact clear markers for navigating to what we have set out to accomplish. More like sign posts or foot holds. Looking at every journey we embark on, A-Z, we can be overwhelmed by the sheer distance we need to cover to get to our destination. What if we just look at A-B and forget the rest, what about B-C? It's all about framing and perspective, so make it work for you not against you, which is our natural tendency. Here is another question, did you ever think you could just hope straight from A directly to Z? I hope not, we need to accept that there is always going to be ground to cover to get us from where we are now to where we want to be. So be thankful if you are facing new challenges, these serve as street lamps on what would have been a very dark and arduous journey.

"Nothing worthwhile ever happens quickly and easily. You achieve only as you are determined to achieve… and as you keep at it until you have achieved"

-Robert H. Lauer

So now if we think about the difficulty of the task, and the time it will take to achieve it as a sign that what we are trying to accomplish is in fact worthwhile, how do we feel? I'm pretty excited.

Enter the 4 P's of entrepreneurship Patience, Persistence, Perseverance and Passion.

We need patience because MOST things don't happen overnight like all of the success stories in the media would have us believe. There needs to be a willingness to accept when we mess up, and to accept every added challenge we are given. Look at it more like "don't put your foot here" and "this is a possible place to put your foot" respectively. Need I remind you how many light bulbs Edison designed before getting it right?

We need persistence and perseverance because we often won't get it right the first time. Persistence and Perseverance are the equivalent of being willing to go through the process of re-evaluating our decisions and actions. It's all part of the cycle in taking that next step to our final destination. This definitely does not mean charge ahead blindly, it means learning from our mistakes and successes. We need to do more of what works and less of what doesn't. Looking at our journey this way makes it a much more rewarding experience. "Look at all I have learned" instead of "look at how much I've messed up".

Finally we need that passion. It's unlikely that we will be passionate all of the time. We need to think back to the early days of our journey, our why. It helps down to write down your original vision so you don't lose track of what you're working for, and always add to it. Re-visiting this often will keep you on track and full of the grit needed. Don't just read it, visualize yourself in a world where you're living your vision. Play a song that really gets you pumped up, close your eyes and see it. What does it look like? How do you feel? How has the lives of your customers changed? How has the world changed? Who are you to stop this from happening? If you don't make this happen who will? Now look at A-B, what is it in the scheme of things now?

Stay present, focus on what is directly in front of you, laugh at every challenge you're given with acceptance as you realise these are just getting you closer to your goal. Remember no mountain has ever been too tall, no ocean too wide, to stop our species from achieving our dreams. Now let me see your war face!